


When it all Turns to Dust

by xXXbelievexXx



Category: Avengers Infinity War pt 1, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Smut, Tags Are Hard, Tony Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-09 22:21:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18926167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXXbelievexXx/pseuds/xXXbelievexXx
Summary: Looking back on it now, Tony realizes everything he did wrong. He should have tried harder.. fought harder. He failed, not only is the world now fifty percent less populated than it was ten minutes ago.. but now the man he loved is turning to dust in his arms.How did this happen? Why?.. More importantly, how can he fix it?





	1. Before (Part One)

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how long this fic will be, but be prepared for anything. Please if you have any suggestions, let me know! Thanks~ hope you enjoy!  
> p.s. The time post in the chapters have no correlation to any timeline of the MCU, I'm kinda just going off my own timeline and they are also there to help you keep track of past, and present.

 

_August 15th, 2017_

* * *

 

For the first time in a very long time, Tony didn't wake up screaming. For the past few years (ever since New York), sleep meant a parade of night terrors and waking up in cold sweat. But now, waking up enveloped in solid warmth, Tony felt safe. At first the sensation felt strange almost as if it shouldn't exist. 

The arms that were laced around him flexed along with a soft huff. Suddenly Tony realized WHY he felt so safe. Peter was wrapped around him, head nuzzled deep into the crook of Tony's neck and arms wrapped firmly but comfortably around Tony's chest.

Over the past few months, this had become routine. It had started off with late night conversations, Tony finally letting someone know how much the "break up" of the Avengers had actually affected him. Then after a few drinks he ended up nearly begging Peter to stay, to not leave him alone.. and in all reality he had probably scared the poor kid half to death.

 _Kid_. Could Peter really be considered a kid anymore? After all, he swung from high buildings and fought crime for a living. Even more so.. Did Tony really think of him as a kid anymore? Within the past few weeks it seemed like their relationship had changed into something slightly less parental and more.. intimate. 

"Are you okay?.." Peter whispered, softly as though he didn't want to send the man running. Startled out of his thoughts, Tony realized the boy was looking at him, Peters light brown caramel eyes were searching Tony's face with an emotion that could be described no less than concern.

Slowly, Tony lifted his hand to cup Peters soft face. For a few seconds Tony marveled at the warmth that radiated from Peters skin and seemed to warm him to the depths of his soul. "I'm perfect.." Tony whispered back.

Peters eyes seemed to widen at the intimate gesture, even though they were basically wrapped around each other in the most intimate of ways. In truth, Tony’s action shocked himself as well.

Suddenly, a large rush of protectiveness ran through Tony's body. He was suddenly reminded of how innocent Peter really was, even at 17. When Tony was Peters age, he did nothing but drink and make downright stupid decisions.. but no. Peter was out there saving the god damn world, risking his life, and suddenly Tony couldn't stand it. Because in the end, Tony is the one who _brought_ Peter into this. If anything ever happened to Peter..

Tony didn't think he could handle it, and for some reason Tony had the sick feeling that something WAS about to happen.

 Since the events of Germany, the compound had been terrifyingly empty and quiet. Rhodey was still in the hospital. The doctors had said that his legs would never regain full motion, but for a guy like Tony Stark never was well.. never an option. 

For the most part Tony was the only one even in the compound at any given time, except of course when Peter was there. The thought was bitter sweet, because there was a vague feeling that Peter was sticking around for Tony’s stake.

Peters visits had become more and more frequent in the past few weeks, and each stay seemed to get longer and longer.

”Breakfast?” Tony wondered aloud, deciding that although they were both comfortable that it was probably time to get up. 

Peter nodded slowly, obviously still tired but also knowing they couldn’t stay in bed all day.

This is how their mornings normally went these days. Sleeping in (if you could even call it sleeping in considering it was only 10 am), dragging themselves out of bed and Peter sitting at the large marble counter while Tony made breakfast.

In all consideration it wasn’t bad, somewhat normal. In the superhero life the word normal didn’t pop up very often. 

“How did you sleep?”

Tony looked up, smiling softly at Peter. Lately, he seemed to be concerned about Tony’s health more and more. 

“Good kiddo..real good.” Tony sighed, “Thank you for staying..” He trailed off.

There’s that damn word again. Kid. Tony was once again reminded of how young Peter really was. Of course, Peter WAS an adult. He was 17, not underaged and perfectly capable of making his own decisions..

But still.

Tony was YEARS older than Peter. It was beyond inappropriate to be sleeping in the same bed, let alone with the boy wrapped around him.

Tony would be lying in he said there were no lingering glances, touches the lasted just sightly too long to be random.

It wasn’t all on one end either, Tony had caught Peters eyes on him more than once. In the beginning he had knocked it off to  concerned glances, but now he realized it was more. 

There was many times where Tony would want to bring this up, confront their feelings for each other..but for some reason Tony couldn’t come up with the words. In all reality, in a very sick reality, Tony didn’t want to reject Peter. They had a good thing going, and he had someone holding him at night. In the back of his mind Tony felt as if they both needed it.. not only that, but Tony loved when he woke up next to Peter in the mornings.

He loved opening his eyes and seeing a shock of light brown hair, he loved seeing how Peters caramel eyes glowed gold in the early morning light filtering through the blinds, Hell he even loved the soft pink blush on the side of Peters cheek when he rolled over in the morning that was caused by sleeping on Tony’s shoulder in the same position for many hours.

 “You’ve been spacing out a lot today, are you sure that you’re okay?..” Peter frowned, clearly concerned.

Suddenly Tony realized that Peter wasn’t sitting at the counter as he had been seemingly seconds before. Peter was standing directly in front of Tony, his eyebrows pulled together and causing a stressful crease which for some reason caused a painful jerk in Tony’s heart.

”I..” Tony trailed off. 

Peter had taken a step closer, his hands resting on Tony’s broad shoulders firmly. They were now less than a foot away from each other.

Tony stuttered once again, and was shocked at how the roles had been _switched_.  Normally it was Peter that didn’t know what to say, normally it was Peter that stuttered and blushed.

But Peter was close. So close that Tony could see the golden flecks in Peters caramel eyes, so close that Tony could somehow smell a soft pine scent that was just completely Peter.

Peter was frantically searching Tony’s eyes, quite obviously getting more and more concerned.

”Hey Mr- Tony. Hey just sit down for a second yeah?..” Peter’s frown seemed to sink lower with concern.

And in that moment, against all sanity that was left in Tony’s mind and body, Tony surged forward and crushed his lips to Peter’s in a swift motion.

Peter stiffened in surprise, his grip on Tony’s shoulders spasmed as if he didn’t know whether to push Tony away or pull him closer.

Just when Tony was ready to pull away, and apologize multiple times and run the hell away from the worst decision of his life, Peters lips responded.

Tony let out a soft groan as Peters lips crushed against his own, almost more forceful than Tony’s. And after that all fight and reason had flown out the window. Peters lips seemed to set Tony on fire, every nerve in his body lit up.

Tonys arms wrapped securely around Peters waist, pulling him firmly against his chest as Peters arms wrapped around Tony’s neck, deepening the kiss as he tangled his fingers in the dark mass of hair. 

It was Peters turn to groan as Tony but down on Peters plump bottom lip and tugged rather roughly.

Just as Peters hands drifted lower, beginning to shift under Tony’s shirt, Tony shifted away suddenly.

God.

Both gasping, Peter and Tony stopped and stared at each other for a few moments. It was clear in both of their eyes that they had absolutely no idea what had just happened, but at the same time knew exactly what had happened. Millions of apologies ran through Tony’s mind at a million miles per hour. Just as they were about to start spilling out, a hand covered Tony’s lips firmly.

”Don’t. Don’t apologize.” Peter whispered, nearly sounding pained.

”But I—“

”No. Don’t Tony. Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that the past weeks have done nothing but lead up to that?..” 

Tony couldn’t help but admit that he was right. But the entire situation was just plainly wrong in every way shape and form. 

“You need to go home Kid..” Tony sighed. “You’ve been here for to long and your aunt is probably worried sick.”

”Tony you can’t just pretend like what happened didn’t actually happen!” Peter growler back, obviously frustrated.

”It CANT.” Tony replied firmly.

There was a wild fierce look that Peter had never seen before. It was startling and shook Peter down to the depths of his soul. Tears were forming behind his eyelids, not because he was angry..but because of how insanely frustrated he was. Peter had been waiting years for that to happen, after all Tony had been Peters idol, a childhood crush that developed into more as suddenly Tony had quite literally been transformed into a part of Tony’s life. 

Suddenly the tears were spilling over in an unstoppable wave.

”No, God Peter please don’t cry..” Tony’s eyes widened, shocked at the fact he had brought tears from the boys eyes. 

“I’m sorry..” Peter whimpered, wiping his eyes vigorously and hating the fact that the tears were coming out in such an obvious manner.

Tonys arms wrapped around Peter once more firmly, tugging him close and burying his nose in the younger’s hair. 

“I’m not mad at you Peter.. it’s okay.. I’m the one whose sorry. Just relax okay?” Tony whispers softly into the boys hair.

”You think it’s a mistake don’t you?..”

The words shocked Tony into coldness. A mistake? A mess yes..a mistake, no. Although they couldn’t.. it just couldn’t happen, the feeling Tony had felt as Peters lips crushed against his own could not be a mistake. There was simply no way.

”No..No Peter. Not a mistake.” Tony gently cupped Peters face in his hands. “But we can’t okay?.. it’s dangerous, it’s a mess Peter.. You’re to young.” _And I care about you to much._

Slowly Peter nodded, his tears slowing and seeming to calm down as Tony rested his forehead against Peters. 

There was that deep sinking feeling again. Tony didn’t want to, couldn't, lose Peter. It was impossible. Tony would never be able to survive it. If they were to be together, although Peter is a legal age, there would still be talk and criticism. Tony truly down to the depths of his heart didn’t want Peter to have to suffer through that. Not to mention, if Spider-Man began hanging around the compound a little to much, and Peter Parker was quite obviously with Tony.. then it was quite possible that Peters secret identity could be revealed.

That couldn’t happen.

No matter how badly Tony wanted to claim Peters lips, to claim him in general..it couldn’t happen. 

“Go lay down for s few minutes okay?..I’ll be there in a minute” Tong sighed again softly, looking into Peters eyes.

Tony truly needed a moment to gather his thoughts.

 


	2. Before (Part Two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will have a few scenes from Spider-man: Homecoming, I apologize if the scenes are not portrayed exactly how they were in the movie but they are being adapted for this story's purposes. Also, I know the first chapter was close to two thousand words, and while I would love to go at that pace for every chapter.. it probably wont happen. Having somewhat shorter chapters will allow me to update more quickly.
> 
> Please leave a kuddo and a comment! I will respond to all comments left and would appreciate any feedback you guys would have to offer- positive OR negative.

_One Month Later_

* * *

Peter had been sitting on top of the tall red bricked apartment building, staring across to the city skyline, for a little over forty-five minutes. His fitted Spider-Man mask was rolled carefully over his nose as he munched on a churro that a kind old lady had given to him.

It had been a month since the kiss between Peter and Mr. Star-  _Tony_ had happened. In the hours following the incident, Peter had been optimistic that things would just go back to normal. Of course, optimistic chances rarely actually happened to a boy like Peter Parker. It could be theorized that Tony had called his Aunt May and kindly reminded her how long it had been since Peter was home instead of at the old Avengers tower. The reason that this was a plausible occurrence, was because the next morning Peter had found himself back in his rather small apartment in Queens with his Aunt May who seemed not willing to let Peter go for a long while because of how badly she had missed him.

In the weeks following, it seemed as if even though Tony was just downtown New York, he had disappeared from Peters life. His text messages had been left unopened and if there were to be any contact it tended to go through Happy first (whether Peters messages ever actually got to Mr. Stark he would never know). It felt almost as if Tony Stark had never actually showed up in Peters life.

Peter sighed.

Suddenly, Peters ears picked up a faint alarm from across the street. He glanced up and realized that the bank was in fact getting robbed by a group of men who had their faces covered in Avengers masks.  _Finally something good!_   Peter quickly rolled his mask down, shooting a quick web to the building closest to the bank. It was time to work.

In short terms.. It hadn't gone well.

The fight had ended with Peter nearly getting disintegrated by some sort of alien technology, and the gas station/subway ACTUALLY getting mostly disintegrated. Not only that, but the men (or most of them) had escaped in the confusion.

 After the police had arrived, Peter decided that it was best that he just went home. He had caused enough damage for one night. How had it gotten so out of control? Miserable and guilty, Peter ripped off his mask and yanked at his hair as soon as he hit a back alley way. Frustrated tears began to sting his eyes and Peter took a slow steadying breath to control his ever rising emotions.

_What if someone had died?_  

That was the only thought running through Peters mind at seemingly a million miles per hour.

In the back of Peters mind he knew that his small mental meltdown wasn't only about the bank robbery, but multiple things. Only a few months ago his Uncle Ben had passed away in front of Peters eyes and it had been his fault. Then Germany had happened. Fighting the Avengers? Well it scared Peter a lot more than he would like to admit. Next, what happened with Tony had happened and even though Peter had been waiting on that kiss for what seemed like his entire life, now Tony wouldn't answer his damn phone calls. Now, to add on-top of all of that, Peter had nearly gotten himself and a convenience store clerk vaporized.

Peter didn't realize he was hyperventilating until his vision began spotting black at the edges. He clutched his chest, pulling helplessly at his suit as if maybe if it was gone it would help him breathe.

"I- I cant breathe.." Peter wheezed quietly, not asking for help but to confirm his findings with his oxygen deprived brain.

Peter backed against a the brick wall of the alleyway, sinking to the floor as he tightened his fist impossibly into his hair.  _Panic attack._

Suddenly there were hands on him, a startled yell crawled up Peters throat as he looked blearily at the person who was grabbing his shoulders. In a moment of clarity, confusion racked Peters entire body as he recognized who was in front of him.

Decked out in Iron Man gear, lacking the helmet, was Tony Stark. The older man was confused and there was something close to panic written in his normally carefree expression. There was a flutter in Peters chest as he realized that the expression was for him,  _concern_ for him.

"Kid.. Kid, hey you're alright.." Tony muttered reassuringly, nearly sounding as if he was talking to himself. "Just breathe Pete.. Its okay, I have you."

A choked sound came from between Peters lips, so close to a breath but choking on it before it reached his lungs. 

"H-How did you find me?." Peter stuttered, his teary eyes now locked on Tony's concerned ones.

"I.. Well I have a tracker in your suit. I got a notification that your heart rate was concerningly high.. I came as soon as I could.." Tony's gaze traveled down the length of Peter, most likely checking for any visual damage.

Peters throat was slowly opening up, and he took slow deep lungfuls of breath. As his brain was gaining more oxygen, it occurred that Tony was actually  _here._ In front of him. Peters breath hitched up as Tony's hand reached up, seemingly on it own, and combed protectively through Peters hair. In all honesty, it didn't even seem like Tony had realized what he was doing.

 "Are you okay?.." Tony asked sternly, his eyes locked on Peters to catch any lie that may slip from the younger's lips.

Peter nodded, and with a sigh slumped forward and rested his forehead upon Tony's. The last time they were in such a position, their lips had been pressed together. Their gazes locked, and for a few quiet seconds it was clear that they were both holding their breath. Tony looked like he was ready to bolt, panic was now lacing his previously concerned features.

"Please don't leave..Please. I know that you think that last month was a mistake, but it wasn't. Yeah.. you're a few years older than me, but i'm a legal adult Tony. I can make my own grown up decisions.. and my decision is that I want YOU. Don't even try to argue with me, because you obviously want me to!" Peter blurts out, startling them both.

_Oh my God.._

_Did I seriously just say that?.._

Tony's eyebrows scrunched together, the most stressed that Peter had ever seen the man. Suddenly, Peter felt as if he were on the verge of another panic attack. After taking a few steadying breaths, and confirming that Tony was still deep within his own thoughts, Peter surged forward (much like how Tony had only a month ago) and pressed his lips to Tony's. The kiss was not rough however, but soft and unsure as if there were a fear of rejection.

_And my God there was._

After a few indescribable seconds, Peter was sure he had made a huge mistake. Just when he was about to give up and pull away, he felt Tony's hands lace into Peters soft brown hair. Their lips moved together for a few slow moments before Peter felt Tony slip his tongue between Peters lips. Peter moaned quietly as their tongues fought for dominance, the kiss quickly gaining speed. The fight was futile, but in the end Peter knew that what he truly want was for Mr. Stark to take control of him. Tony's body shifted forward, the metal of his armor pressing into Peters chest as he struggled to get closer.

And then the spell was broken, Tony gently cupped Peters face and pulled away, gasping for air as if his heart couldn't handle this.

"We can't..not here.." Tony breathed, stroking Peters face and all he wanted was to taste the younger one more time.

"No no no.. Please Mr. Stark don't leave!" Peter whispered frantically, terrified that he was being walked away from once again.

Tony shook his head and sighed, obviously conflicted and fighting a battle inside of his mind. Peter didn't know which side was winning, but he really hoped it was the side that told Tony to stay there with Peter, and press his lips against the younger's once more.

"Peter.. I said not here.. I didn't say no okay? Listen this shit is messed up in every way shape or form.. but you're right. I want you. Quite frankly I don't think I can stay away from you anymore. This.. This isn't a good idea. We both know that.. But I think we need to talk about. I owe you that much." Tony looked confused, as if he didn't know where the words were coming from.. But the words filled Peter with a sense of hope that maybe, just maybe, it would be okay.

So they talked about. It was agreed that if they decided to go forward, that no one could know about the relationship. At least not for a while. Although Peter was in fact a legal adult, it would cause controversy and quite possibly damage Tony's reputation, his career. Tony himself was also worried about the backlash Peter would receive if the world knew about them. So rule number one: no one can know. In reality, that was the only rule. 

 Even though it wasn't a traditional romance, it was definitely theirs. 

Within each others arms, the nightmares faded away. The darkness was replaced with a strange sort of light that can only be described as a weightless blessing, like there was less weight carried on their shoulders. Of course there would be challenges, but they would face them together.

 

_...And then Thanos came..._

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the lack of dialogue lmao I’m bad at it so give me time and it’ll be better


End file.
